STAY WELL CLEAR OF THIS PROGRAM‏

[Harpic]

 
I installed a new program on my computer and have had nothing but hassle ever since
Tried ringing Facebook Tech support several times but due to others also having installed this program i couldn't get out of the waiting loop
In the end I mailed them out of pure desperation
Here is a copy of that email and the answer

STAY WELL CLEAR OF THIS PROGRAM

Dear Facebook Tech Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Facebook Girlfriend 7.0 to
Facebook Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the Facebook product brochure.
In. addition, Facebook Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity like most Facebook Programs seem to do.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5 and More Beer 5.3 no longer run, and crash the system whenever they are selected, Does Facebook not like these.
Attempting to operate Saturday or Weekend Soccer 2.30 always fails, but Saturday Shopping for Groceries and Nappies 1.30 runs instead.even thou I have not purposely installed either program
I cannot seem to keep Facebook Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Facebook Girlfriend 7.0 but trying to de-install doesn't seem to work on this program.
Please respond asap
Harpic


Dear Harpic,
This is a very common problem. Resulting from a basic misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is simply a utilities and entertainment program. In fact, Wife 1.0 is an 'operating system' and is designed by its creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this - it is impossible to de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up having even more problems (see manual under 'Legal Fees' and 'Child Support' ).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it and deal with the difficulties as best you can.
When any faults occur, whatever you think may have caused them, you must run the c: \IAPOLOGISE program, and avoid the temptation to just hit the Esc key.
It may be necessary to run c:\IAPOLOGISE a number of times, but hopefully the operating system will eventually return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, try buying additional software such as Flowers 2.1 or Chocolates 6.
Do not, whatever you do, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3, as this is not a supported application and the system will almost certainly crash.
We would like to reassure you that on this occasion this has nothing to do with the normal processes that we perform at Facebook.

Best of Luck
'Tech Support

PS:  You wait till you get a virus in wife 1,0 then you really will know that you have big problems.

[Anmer]

I have found the precise text posted on Facebook on 20 September 2012.

So I'm assuming this has been posted as a "joke"?

[Harpic]

Mike,
You never thought it was a serious warning   

[Anmer]

You never thought it was a serious warning   

No I didn't, but others might. 

[birdie]

Its an old joke circulating since 2000